बढा जा रहा हूँ

मुझे ईल्म नहीं इस बात का 
मैं  कहाँ जा रहा हूँ 
पर जहाँ जा रहा हूँ 
बढा जा रहा हूँ 


गिरता हूँ , संभलता  हूँ 
और फिर गिर जाता हूँ 
इन टेढ़ी मेढ़ी गलिओं में 
कही गुम  हो जाता हूँ    


मिलते है कई लोग यहाँ , 
मुझे , इन गलिओं में                                           
कुछ खटकते है, कुछ भा जाते है 
पर जीवन की आपाधापी में 
सारे गुम  हो जाते हैं 


सोचता हूँ , मिलजाए कोई 
जो चले संग मेरे  
और पूरे करे
हम, अपने सपने 


इन्ही  सारे सपनो में 
डूबा जा रहा हूँ 
उम्मीद के किनारे 
विशवास के सहारे 
बढा  जा रहा हूँ !!
बढा जा रहा हूँ !! 

                                                                                                                                                                                              ABLAZE 

I WISH YOU BREAK A LEG

Chapter 1 : The Announcement 

Ukim woke up at night , sat up in his bed ,crossed legged, put his palms on his cheeks and closed his eyes. There was a faint peaceful smile on his face . A couple of minutes later he laid down again and went back to sleep. The next morning he summoned his family and close friends to the foyer of his ancestral home. The foyer was big enough to accommodate 2 dozen people. People gathered there on time, some clueless , some with a fair idea , for why were they summoned. Ukim arrived with a backpack on his shoulders and stood in front of them. Without wasting anytime time he came straight to the point and said " I AM LEAVING". The moment he said those words there were murmurs and a few raised eyebrows.  His mother started to cry but the people who were close to him didn't show any emotion.They knew this day would come, sooner or later. He was a rara avis, a free bird by nature. They always knew he would leave but the only question was of when, to which they got the answer that day. "I want to learn and improve" he said ".. and the only way I can do that is by discovering myself". I will miss you all, but you are the people who will give me strength during the times of trial and when I comeback, I hope to be a better man and will be better equipped to face the challenges of life and together we will help each other realise our dreams. But for now I'll take your leave and I wish to seek your blessings for the same.  TATA!!!" he said and started to retreat. His friends came forward and wished him luck , some hugged,some shook his hand. Ukim then saw Timhi standing in a corner with a smile on her face. He walked to her and said "wouldn't you wish me luck". Timhi said "hmmmmm........ I wish you break a leg". "WHAT??" asked a confused Ukim. "I WISH YOU BREAK A LEG!!!!" Timhi replied, this time louder and clearer. Ukim didn't understand, but he didn't ask Timhi to explain it, he just left.

Chapter 2: Making an Unlikely Acquaintance 

Ukim travelled for days. He saw mountains, deserts, plateaus. He met many people, old, young, believers, agnostics, atheists. He stayed in towns both small and big. He kept on moving , until he reached a small idyllic village situated on the bank a river. This place reminded him of his own village, which made him nostalgic.So, he decided to stay in that city for a few days.

There in the city, he started working as a salesman in a jewellery shop.He worked there all day and in the evenings he would go and sit on the bank of the river. On one such evening, Ukim was sitting under a tree on the bank of the river when somebody patted him on his shoulder. Before he could react he heard these words "Hello mister , this is where I play so please leave". Ukim turned back and saw a little girl , with a pair of huge beautiful expressive eyes. Ukim smiled and replied "I come here everyday how come I have never seen you before?"."Because I was at my granny's.. , please leave now" she said in an authoritative tone. Ukim stood up and sat under the next tree.

The girl took out a box form her bag.The box had a doll in it along with various other items. She was so engrossed with her doll and other toys that she didn't even notice that Ukim was observing her. After watching her for sometime, he asked "what is your name". The girl didn't reply.
He asked again, but failed again to elicit any response from the girl . Ukim then stood up and went to the girl and picked up the doll from her box. This infuriated the girl big time,"How dare you touch Ritu, nobody touches her ... give it back to me right away". "Hmmm...So this is what you call your doll !.. but what do people call you?" enquired  Ukim again.

"NANHI" she shouted " Now give Ritu back to me or else I will drown you in this river". Ukim retreated a couple of steps pretending to be afraid and gave her back the doll. "So we shall meet again tomorrow" said Ukim with a naughty smile. "No" said Nanhi  and started playing with her doll.

From that day onwards he used to go to the bank of the river everyday and meet Nanhi. Ukim enjoyed her company, he teased her, pulled the clips off her hairs and called her by different names. Nanhi on the other hand hated Ukim. Every time she saw him, she would take her tongue out and make faces. She retaliated each time when he did something to her. She had low endurance to his mischiefs,  so each time she either ended up crying or threw things at him to make him run away.

Though they fought a lot, there were also days when they sat down and talked (not to mention these occasions were rare ). Nanhi would sit down and tell Ukim how much she hated her school and her teachers or tell him about who her best friend was and what they had in lunch, or about a fight she had with one of her school mates. Sometimes she would tell Ukim about her mother and how well she cooks or  would talk about her doll(Ritu) and tell him how much she wanted a pearl set for her.
But every time Nanhi started to think of Ukim as a friend, he would say or do something to piss her off.


Chapter 3: The Broken doll

One day, Nanhi was sitting quietly under the tree with the doll (Ritu) in her hand. It was very unlike her. She was an energetic child full of life and never sat still.

Ukim saw her on the river bank, went to her and without uttering a word sat next to her resting his back on the tree. She stared at him for few moments and then looked away. There was silence.

After sometime, she saw him again and started talking. "Ritu is my best friend in this entire world, she is the most precious thing to me...." she said and stopped without completing the sentence. Ukim looked at her, raised his eyebrows and pulled his head upwards and asked "whats the matter?". " I saw a beautiful pearl in a shop... I wish I had it for Ritu" she said, and became quiet again.
Ukim looked at her and asked " and.....?".  Nanhi pointed her finger towards the doll. The doll was broken, it was broken beyond repairs.

"How did this happen?" enquired Ukim. "Peeli!!!" she said while grinding her teeth with anger. "Peeli???" asked Ukim puzzled."Yes , she is my neighbour. Yesterday I went out with my friends to play and forgot to take Ritu with me" she said innocuously, while a teardrop fell from left eye.She raised her hand, wiped  her tear and continued "Peeli.. she took it and ... and .... she broke it". Nanhi bursted into tears. It was like somebody had broken a faucet and water was flowing out off it uncontrollably . Ukim said nothing. He just watched her and waited for her to calm down and wondered what would have happened if she were sitting on a cloud and cried like this."There would have been floods which would have drowned the entire village and rendered people homeless. The whole image was frightening and disturbing. Ukim shook his head twice and came back to reality and realised that she was calm now.

"How deep is this river??" asked Ukim to Nanhi. She failed to understand the relevance of his question at this point of discussion but replied "Deep, very deep..  why do you ask??" . Ukim smiled and said " I like throwing things into the river, now that you doll is broken..... can I throw it into the river?". This infuriated Nanhi big time and she stood up angrily and chased Ukim to hit him. "Die , Die you die" shouted Nanhi while she chased him.

Chapter 4: The Old Man's Wisdom

Next day when Ukim went to work in the jewellery shop, his owner called him in his office. Owner of the shop was an old man and was fond of Ukim.

Ukim went in his chamber and touched his feet. Owner saw him, took off his glasses and kept it on the table." Come.. Come son sit" he said.  Ukim sat on a chair.  Owner cleared his throat and started to speak. "Ukim...,I am 73 years old now, I have had a good life and I have worked very hard for it, but now I want some rest. I am fatigued , both mentally and physically." he stopped for a while and asked Ukim to bring him a glass of water.

Ukim immediately brought a glass of water and placed it on his table. Owner gulped the entire glass of water in one go and continued "I have no complaints , no regrets but as I just said I am tired. So I have decided to retire. I am selling this place. But before I leave I wish to express my gratitude to all my staff members who have helped me, all these years. Although, I have known you only for a little while, I have developed a fondness for you . Ukim you are hard working young man ,full of ideas and energy and you are honest and loyal. I wish I had a son like you."he paused. He then opened the drawer of his table and took a small box and placed it on the table.

"Open it" said the owner. Ukim opened the box, there was a closed oyster inside."Open the oyster" said the owner. Ukim opened the oyster and found a truly exquisite, unmatched, silvery white coloured pearl with overtones of pink. Ukim looked at the owner and said"I have never seen anything so beautiful" . Owner said " This is a natural pearl.A natural pearl is one that has never been touched by human hands until the oyster is opened.It is rare to find and its luster is most probably  unsurpassed."
Ukim looked at it again ,then closed the box and stood up to give it back.

"Keep it!!!" said the Owner. "Wwhat????" Ukim stammered. "Keep it I said, its a little gift from me to you" Owner replied.
Ukim was confused he didn't know what to do, but he respected the owner too much to say no to him,so he kept it.

"Sir, I don't know what to say , I ... I ... " he stammered again. Owner smiled and said "Don't say anything , just keep it. This is probably our last meeting but I hope you break a leg".

"What?????" said Ukim."Sir, what did you just say". " I hope you break a leg" said the owner again.
Ukim took a deep breath closed his eyes and said " Sir , I am not sure if I understand what you just said". Owner heard him and laughed , laughed out loud. He then went to his cupboard took out a book , tore a page and gave it to Ukim.

Ukim took the page and read it and then looked at the owner and smiled.


Chapter 5: The Closure

Ukim went to the river bank that evening, to meet Nanhi one last time. Nanhi was already there when Ukim reached.

Ukim noticed, Nanhi still had the broken doll with her. "I am leaving tonight" said Ukim .

Nanhi looked at Ukim and asked "why?? where??" . "Its time for me to leave" replied Ukim. His reply made Nanhi a little uncomfortable, she didn't know whether to feel happy or sad about it.

"But before I leave I want to give you something. May I have your doll.. I mean Ritu?" said Ukim.

Nanhi nodded her head and gave him the doll. Ukim took damaged the doll, stared at it for a moment then took a deep breath , stood up and threw the doll as far as he could into the river and while he did that, he cried  "LET IT GO. LET IT GO".

Nanhi couldn't believe what she saw. Tears rolled out of her eyes, she cried profusely . She picked up a big piece of rock and started running towards Ukim. " I WILL KILL YOU, HOW DARE YOU.. I WISH YOU ROT IN HELL.DIE ,DIE,YOU DIE" she shouted and chased Ukim.

Ukim started to run away from her. "DON'T YOU EVER SHOW YOUR FACE TO ME" shouted Nanhi .
"Ohh.. don't you worry about that" replied Ukim with a smile on his face.

While chasing him Nanhi stumbled upon a rock and fell down. This incurred a minor sprain in her feet. She held her feet and sat down. Ukim noticed the fall and began to laugh. This incensed Nanhi big time and she started to cry even louder.

"I WISH YOU BREAK A LEG" Ukim squalled." Oh wait , on a second thought , I WISH YOU BREAK BOTH YOUR LEGS" he squalled again and ran away.

Nanhi cried and cursed Ukim all night that day . Next day she woke up with swollen eyes. She was in pain, she missed her doll badly so she decided to go to the river in search for her doll.She reached the river bank and picked up a long wedge to search the doll. While she moved closer to the river she saw a box hanging on the branch of a tree. She went to the tree and pulled off the box . She opened the box and saw a beautiful little doll inside it, along with an oyster.She picked up the oyster and opened it.When she saw the pearl inside the oyster her eyes lit up. Below the Oyster there was a note. She unfolded the note and began to read.

Dear miss little naughty NANHI,

I know you hate me, and after what I did yesterday I am sure I must have become your enemy no.1. But there are somethings I want to tell you. Some people are different , they have their own subtle ways of expressing their emotions.So when they tease you, or fight with you or pull your leg, it doesn't mean they hate you. It actually means they like you very much. 

In fact life is very similar, when something bad happens it doesn't mean life is over, in fact it means that its time to make a fresh start and sometimes to make a fresh start, you must let go. Yes it is tough to let go off something that has been close to you. But believe me, once you do that you would feel stronger, and you would be ready to face anything that comes your way.But most importantly you will be at peace with yourself and nothing is more comforting than that. So Nanhi do not jump to a conclusion immediately, never give up , identify the subtle messages and learn to let go.

And by the way you can call your new doll whatever you want to. 

Ohhh... Yes One more thing , read this...

I WISH YOU BREAK A LEG ----> People in theatre consider it bad luck to wish an actor good luck, so instead they wish the opposite, by saying "break a leg!".  So when someone says I WISH YOU BREAK A LEG, he actually wishes you good luck.
                   
Your enemy No.1
UKIM

Nanhi picked up the new doll, looked at it for a few moments and hugged it tight. While she hugged the doll she closed her eyes and suddenly she felt very light, there a calmness on her face and a faint smile. She understood what Ukim meant , she had let it go and was at peace with herself.

What Do you Cry For?

I've seen people traveling
in overcrowed trains with their
kids and no place to stand
with a smile on their faces!!!
What do you cry for?

I've seen kids sitting
in straight lines on
footpaths with their
pants down and facing unknown
crowd while pooping
with a smile on their faces!!!
What do you cry for?

I've seen gentle old men
who have lost their
partners for life, who
show no regrets and live life
with a smile on their faces!!!
What do you cry for?

I've seen mothers who
wait patiently for their chlidren to
come home and count every
second, but never sigh a
word of impatience and
carry on with a smile on their faces!!!
What do you cry for?

CHhOoOoOOoOpPPP...

Sometimes I wake up shy, Sometimes confident.
Sometimes I wake up naive, Sometimes  full of wisdom.
Sometimes I wake up serious, Sometimes frivolous.
And Sometimes I wake up Mad ,and I woke up Mad that day.

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock -- 7:58 am
 "F***" my first word for the day."I am late".

I jumped out of my bed.Didn't wash my face.Didn't brush my teeth.Didn't change my T-shirt;
just removed my shorts and wore my favourite pair of faded blue jeans(which were on the
floor)Then realized I wasn't alone in the room. Shanky, my roomie was wide awake
and saw something that he wasn't supposed to see and consequently had a wide grin on his face.
I picked up my shorts threw them on his face ,opened the door of my room and started running like a
street dog in pursuit of a car on the road.

It was mandatory for every student, in my college, to have a minimum of 75% attendence in every subject,
 else he wasn't allowed to  take the test of that subject that semester.Moreover, he had to attend the
classes of that subject during holidays, maintain 75% attendence and then take the test, these classes were
called "ORDIE"(or something like that)classes. I know how it feels like to attend an Ordie class, because in
first year of my college I had to attend one, and believe you me, its not a good experience. When everybody else
is at home, you are in college attending classes,maintaining attendence,taking tests and trying very hard to kill
time  (and sometimes yourself) after the class is over, because nobody else is there with you.In a nutshell,
an ORDIE was my college's version of a solitary confinement

Anyways, I had a lecture on Theory Of Machines' at 8am which I couldn't afford to miss because my attendence was mere 65%.If I had missed even a single class it would have been over.
My college was roughly about 800ms away from the hostel, I ran all those 800ms and finally reached
college(alas! There was no one to clock my sprint,cause it was some kind of a record for sure).
My class was on 3rd floor,I ran through all the stairs and blasted into the class without realizing that teacher
was already in there, and sat on the last bench of the class. Everybody was looking at me and so was the teacher. I was sweating Profusely, and breathing like an asthmatic patient

Teacher: You boy... yes you at the back
Me: F*****
Teacher:What did you say?
Me: Nothing,sir..
Teacher: (looked at his clock)hmmmm.. 8:07am

I thought to myself "WOW.. I AM FAST".

Teacher: Boy, you are too early for the next class.

Everybody burst into laughter.

Me :(quizzically) Sir?
Teacher : Please leave..
Me : (like a peasant in front of his master) Siiiirrrrr..
Teacher : please leave at once, now.
Me : (Like a man begging for his life) Siiiiiiiiiirrrrrrr ...
Teacher : Ok, tell me the reason, why are you  late.
Me : (thinking hard) Ummmm... Sirrr ... ummmm
Teacher : (at the top of his voice) GET OUT, NOW.

Oh boy.. he was angry now, his face told it all, I neither had the courage nor the reasons to ask him for forgiveness. I left the class at once . "Now I'll never get placed, no company will allow a student to sit for  recruitment  who has backlog and to add to that I'll have attend ORDIE classes (sigh)...AWESOME! I AM SCREWED"  I said to myself.

I was very upset and I knew there was only one way to get over it. I took out my cell phone and punched a number

Me : Hello, Hello Lalu.
Lalu : Hello
Me : CHAL PEENE
Lalu : (Sleepy)Abhi.. ??? Its 8:30am
Me : Chal Sham Mein Peene
Lalu : Arre Chal... Jab bol tab chalenge
(guys in the college ,especially mine are ever ready to go for a drink)
Me : Ask others to join us too.
Lalu : sure.

We went to a local bar at 6:30 pm . This was the best bar of the town and played some amazing music.
(For those of you who dont drink,here's a trivia:If the music in the background is good while drinking,the effect of liquor gets amplified ).
Lights were dim and music was aerosmith "DREAM ON" the ambience itself was intoxicating.

While we drank we poured our hearts out, we discussed everything ,our sorrows, faulty education system,politics,universe god,society, Pakistan, China, love, betrayals, girls,sex, Suman Saurabh(DPS,BSCity),  everything. Within 4 hours each one of us(the engineering students) present there were transformed into philosophers.

Uncle's (a friend) cell rang abruptly.
Uncle : hmm ... What?. When?..  How?. Where? Who?  How Many? Ok Ok .. just wait we are on our way.
Uncle : CHAL MAAR HOGAYA HAI. Pandey ka phone aaya tha.

No one asked a single question. Everyone just stood up and and started warming up. I felt as if I were in ancient times and this was a war, everyone was thirsty for adversaries blood, and as we marched  Winnie(another friend) turned back and said something, something motivational and at the end of his speech we shouted in unison         "AAAAAAHHHHOOOOOO",   "AAAAAAHHHHOOOOOO" ,"AAAAAAHHHHOOOOOO"   3 times like The Spartans(from the movie 300). Though, I am not sure if it ("AAHHOO" thing) really happened, I was a " little " drunk you see.

The moment we reached the battle field, I started doing my maths(though I am not good at it) ,I pointed my finger towards them and started counting "1 ,2 ,3... umm 4.. 12 um..", before I could finish somebody pushed me and I lost the count.When you are drunk its very difficult to do maths, so I stopped counting but as far as I remember, on the basis of my cursory  inspection I feel they outnumbered us. I was slowly but gradually slipping into the state of trance,but then I heard a loud voice which woke me up, somebody just said something filthy about one of my friend. He was the leader of the other group
and was marching towards us aggressively with a stump in his hand, he then again opened his mouth  and said something filthier this time .Before anyone in my group could react I pushed myself through the crowd and jumped right in front of him.
I squinted and then widened my eyes just to figure out who he was, but everything was so blurry, he was just a big  6 foot 2inches Bulky Blob for me.

Seeing me standing in front of him, didn't deter him (well.. this was no surprise, how on earth can anybody be detered by Me). Infact I charged him up even more and this time he vomited out the filthiest thing one can think of. It was too much for me to handle ,I was already filled with rage and courage (DUTCH COURAGE Of course, otherwise who would want to mess
with a guy of his size).So, I jumped up, held him by his collar, looked straight into his eyes, bowed him down to my level and shouted at the top my voice  

CHhOOOOoooOOOOooOoOoOPpPPppPP...


That was it, he was shaking, I dont know how but I broke him down. He started sobbing like a little girl.
"Wait a minute.." I said to myself "I know that expression very well", but I was not able to recollect where had I seen it. Bye the bye within 2 minutes The Blob guy and his gang retreated. Everybody came to me , patted my back and said "Great Job Buddy". I didnt reply , my mind was occupied. I was still thinking about his expression. Then suddenly somebody slaped  me on my the back of my head  and I said "EUREKA!!!".
Yes, I remember it now

 FLASHBACK  JULY,1994

MUMMY : CHhOOOOoooOOOOooOoOoOPpPPppPP...
ME : (Sobbing like a little girl)...

It was my mom's  scolding style. This is how she used to scold me everytime I did a mischief or misbehaved or did poorly in my exams et cetera. I never had thaught ,even in the wildest of my dreams , that I would use the same phrase one day in situation like this and chase a Big Blob and his whole gang away. What amused me the most was the fact that this phrase worked even on a guy like the Big Blob. I just cant imagine what would've happened to that guy if my mom would have said that phrase to him .Probabaly he would've died!!.


Life is strange.. isn't it? You can never predict the source of your inspiration.

                                 
                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                         ABLAZE

                                                     CAST
Shanky ----  Ravi Shankar
Lalu ------- Saurav Singh
Uncle ------- Ritesh Kishore
Pandey  ------ Vibhor Pandey
Winnie  ------- Ashwini Kumar
         And
Suman Saurabh  ------- Suman Saurabh
                                               
 

MY DARK SIDE

MY DARK SIDE
  -------------------

I went to a table which had 8 chairs of which 3 were empty and sat on one of them. There was this south Indian man sitting exactly opposite to me and concentrating hard on the food that he was about to have for lunch. (May be he was trying to meditate or something for better digestion)
The man was probably in his late thirties, two shades darker than a normal north Indian, and just about 0.0025 shade
fairer than an average south Indian (without taking the fairness of an average south Indian female into consideration,
and I am not a racist),standing in at about 5 feet 8 inches tall, weighing in at about 200 pounds, with a
tummy  curvier than all curves of Kim Kardashian taken together, and a
super reflective mirror like space devoid of hair in the centre of his head which was shining
like a newly polished sword of a warrior.

Going by his mannerisms and dressing style , he probably looked like a man, having a
gazillion years of experience in this field. Incidently he had the same food items in his
plate that I had i.e. we both were having the same thali for lunch, "The Health Thali".The Health Thali is a thali
which has 4 compartments, 3 small and 1 big.The small ones generally have
a variety of fruits in one compartment, pulses or chole in the second and dry/sprout chana in the third,
and the large comparment is reserved for rotis and club sandwhich. I generally have The Health Thali for lunch, not
because I am a health freak, but because firstly, the queue is smaller in that shop and secondly and more
importantly, its cheaper (ya... I know what you are thinking!!!I am not cheap)
But looking at this guy ,I think I wasn't wrong in guessing that he was having this thali for reasons completely
opposite to mine, and the reasons apparently being his semi-circular, fluffy tummy which was making me reminiscent of
the Kung fu Panda.

The Old Food Court, where I usually have lunch is an oval shaped place, (which resembles what? I dont know!) is generally
very crowded during the lunch time. Finding a seat during this time here is like finding a penguin in the North Pole. So, as I sat on the chair the man suddenly lost his concentration on the food and noticed me. He waited for five seconds and then in his heavy baritone which was heavily accented, pointed to the chair next to me and said, "Someone is
coming."
I was daydreaming and without paying much attention to what he said I replied, "Yes, I am with a friend and he will be
joining me in a couple of minutes." He nodded his head vehemently like a pendulum and said "No, I mean friends
of mine are going join me here", by which he meant that both the chairs were reserved. Still daydreaming and without
realising what he just said, I said O.K...
Then before his friends, mine arrived at the table and I asked him to sit down. This made the man (sitting opposite to me) very upset. He said, "What is this!" I saw left, I saw right and then looked at him quizzically. He then widened his eyes, looked at me and said, "My friends are coming here." This made
me realise what he was trying to say earlier. Normally I don't like getting in duels, am a calm person who has hardly
ever fought or argued for that matter with anyone.

So like it happens, like a gentleman I should have left the chair and started to search for a new one. But they say
everybody has a dark side, and out of nowhere, mine woke up. I replied to his question by throwing back another which led us to a verbal duel:

Me:  Did you reserve these chairs?
curvy Tummy Man (CTM): What!
Me : DID YOU RESERVE THESE CHAIRS?!
CTM: What do you mean?
Me: Can a person reserve a chair here?
CTM: No one can reserve a chair.
Me: See! Exactly my point.
CTM: You are not supposed to sit on this chair.
Me: Why! did you reserve it?
CTM (upset and angry): I had already told you my friends are coming.
Me: Hmmm, my friend has come first, did you reserve the chair?
CTM (his face turned red): wHAT?
Me: No, see... then first come first serve.

Then he mumbled something in his native tongue to himself and looked at me furiously.
CTM: What is your name?
Me (blank face): ... (silence)
CTM: What is your email id?
Me (blank face): ... (silence)
CTM: What is..
Me (interrupting): Please...i am not in a mood to fight. Let me have my lunch.

He bowed down and made an unsuccessful attempt to see my name on my Id card,
which by the way was very well veiled between my chest  and the table as if it were stratigically placed(on purpose).

Silence for 2 minutes. Then he saw his friends, a lady and a gentelman, coming to this table. This made him super furious.
This time he straightened his backbone and sat as tall as possible, like a snake preparing itslef to attack its prey with
vengeance.

CTM (in a shrill voice again): What is your mail Id?
me (blank face): ...(silence)
CTM (shriller voice): What is your mail id?
me (blank face): ...(silence)
CTM (shrillest this time like an opera singer): What is your...

People in the vicinity realised something happening and diverted their attention to our table.

Me(blank face): Not interested!!!

People started laughing as if I had cracked some kind of a joke. His face turned as red as a tomato.

By this time I saw his friends standing with a plate in their hand 10 feet near the table
unaware of situation here.
This made me feel guilty. I should have left the chair in the first place. I am not the kind of a person who picks up fights,
and that too with a person 15-20 years older than me who could possibly be my boss' friend or even my future boss! I was feeling
guilty, not because I was afraid of him but because I was wrong in the first place. I should have left the chair in the beginning.

My previous answer had made him really furious. Now he stood up and looked at me like a fired up, wounded boxer and clenched
his fists so tight as if he wanted to trap air in it like an air tight container.
I thought its my mistake and its time to apologise. But before I could say anything..

CTM: How dare you  talk to me like that? Huhhhhh... How dare you?!
(he was inhaling and exhaling like a raging bull)


I thought this is the right time, it was my mistake, admit it like a man, apologise. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Apologise, apologise...

CTM (his words banging my ears suddenly) : HOW DARE...
Me (I interrupted!!!): First things First , I don't appreciate the way you are talking to me.
    Secondly, I am not anwerable to you so you cannot demand me for anything, let alone my mail id.


(In my head)What?!! what did you just say?! I was suppose to apologize...



CTM: You..(I interrupt again!!!)
Me (pointing a finger towards him): Don't you say anymore..

(In my head)I am as shocked as he is. What am I doing.. apologize, apologize..

CTM: Yo....(I interrupt again!!!)
Me (I stand up): CHOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPP... (which means "SHUT UP!" in hindi, and also has a story of its own which I'll tell later)

This was too much for him to handle. He stands up, moaning like a lamb. And with his "HEALTH THALI" in one hand and a bag in other leaves the table.

At that moment I thought , what the f***! Who am I? What have I done?! What was that...and took a couple of deep breaths.
I let myself calm down and searched for answers. And finally I realised, this was my "DARK SIDE", my ego which despite
knowing the fact that I was wrong didn't let me do the right thing.

This is an experience which has helped me learn something about controlling myself. Now, I know I may not be able to
control things around, but I can control myself, and if I can control myself I can always control the outcome.

Yes, I have a darkside and I don't like it, but I want to keep it because
I know I can channelise it and use it for the greater good.


;)  ;)